Our Marathon

Bangalore Marathon on the 16th of this month , with little more publicity than my sister's birthday . Karanataka Athletic federation is organising it on the 16th of this month , we can jolly well expect the facilities to be top notch (pun intended) . The half marathon starts at a lazy 7:30am , with the sun in our faces , traffic on the roads its gonna be wonderful 21.097km .
Nonetheless , its our marathon , its our run , we make it happen . I have an exam starting next week , many of my classmates think I have lost my marbles . I am not a fully trained distance runner or anything , I have been in deep freeze for the last 6 months . One Sunday morning (1 week before the marathon) fished out my running shoes and started practice . And it sure feels invigorating .
Exam no exam , practice or deep freeze , sun or rain , Its our marathon . I'll be there on the 16th cause its our city . Hope to see you too .
www.bangaloreinternationalmarathon.in

The right way of eating Fruits

Fruits taste best when they are eaten whole . When you eat it whole you you tend to feel like an animal . The fiber remains intact and less oxidation of the nutrients . Besides it makes your jaws and teeth much stronger . Dentist's advice when fruits are eaten whole it expands the jaws leading to more shapely faces . The peel of most fruits like gauva have lot of nutrients making them an integral part of the fruit eating experience .
That way fruit juices are best avoided . Canned juices are most certainly too purified . If you have to drink juice try fresh fruit juices .
Also foodies should try one full meal of fresh fruit , it keeps you light and peppy all day long . Fruits are aslo best eaten on an empty stomach , Coz acidic fruits won't have any food in the stomach oxidize , and won't you make feek pukish as it does sometimes when you eat fruits after meals .

Kannada movie ?? Karnataka politics ??

Ganesh the hero is simply stunning , especially in a recent super-hit potboiler ' Mungare Male ' .

The turn of politics in the state in nothing less than incredulous . I feel our wanna be Chief minister is more or less like the character of Ganesh in mungaru male ( Excuse me i forgot the his name) .
It all starts with falling in love . That insane head-over heels feeling . Ganesh falls in love with this Kodagu beauty , Yeddy ( yeddyurappa in short) lusts for power . Soon Ganesh goes about hitting on his girl( I'm blessed with a sprinkling of dementia , I can't remember her name either!!) . So does yeddy .
But The dumb girl abhors Ganesh . This ain't bad news for Ganesh at all cause he belives in coercing her into falling in love with him . Quite Yeddy goes around flirting with GOWDA family(they are king makers of the Karnataka political theater) . His attempts of cajoling the Gowda's to fall in love are well rewarding .
The ploy works , She falls for him . Here I have to say that the crew of ' Mungaru male ' had shortage of microphones or something . All I heard throughout the movie was Ganesh . He talks his way to glory!! Yeddy( The name reminds me of the abominable snowman pun unintended) on the other hand goes and talks to the Governor , he holds press conferences , He's basically done it . He's gonna be Karnataka's premier .
Alas the days of yore cannot be forgotten , the heroine has familial commitments and she has to get married to a rather cute looking army officer . Our heart broken hero is crest fallen (The crest is the Jog falls !!). He does what all hero's do.... Acts like a coward , stops talking(what a relief!!) and starts drinking his way to glory .
The past of the Gowda's notwithstanding yed is in for a rude shock even before the honeymoon gets over . The Gowda's double cross him , He's left High and dry just like Ganesh !!!
It looks like making a movie interchanging the positions of Ganesh and Yeddy would be a money spinner considering MAle has been running jam packed for 500 hundred days !!

One day Rajotsava

Dear Mr Guv ThaKur ,
You are from the far far away desert state of Rajasthan , So i have assumed you are not enlightened on the importance of Rajyostava to the people of Karnataka . Today we do a plethora of activities , so I am requesting you to kindly grant another day holiday for us to get over today's hangover .
Starting off the day , we dress up young school children in funny costumes and make them to calisthenics in front of yawning politicians in big defunct stadiums . The children are predictably very tired after .
We also utilize the opportunity to worship Rajkumar at ever street corner (well almost every corner) . We hope to invoke the blessings of this long dead hero (we shall pray for your well-being also). We also undertake massive bike and car rallies sporting our huge flag . The lesser said about the autorick's the better .
The chief minister also distributes the Rajyotsava Award to some 50 (Nepotism , crony ism rules the roost) odd people , Some deserving , some not (Kannada Movie producers for example) .
Bangalore is also the IT/BT capital of India , The numerous companies fearing broken window panes , burning effigies of MD's also declare the day off .

So Mr Guv I firmly believe one day celebration of Rajyotsava is not even remotely enough for this humble state , So please declare tomo a holiday .

Cheers (Like minded people of Karnataka) !!

POLITICS : The last resort of the scoundrel

-Dr Johnson

City market : I like it !!

My mom chided me into accompanying her to city market on the eve of ayudha pooja( One of the big Hindu festivals) . Failing to the see the light in traveling to the city market i argued we would have got better rates for flowers , fruits closer to home .
Nothing really prepared me for what i was about to experience . Anthony Bordain the self confessed open minded love seeking celebrity travelling chef cum TV host would have wet himself in this sea of humans (not humanity mind you) . There were around three people per square feet of the market floor . Hard boiled village women were ribbing me as easily as they were beating down the vendors . Amidst all the elbowing a coupla guys carrying humongous baskets on their heads would come down the aisle thrusting people outta thier way . The smell of rotten flowers and fruits was so offensive it made me go green at the gills . Seeing all the chunky gunny bags and baskets made me have evil thoughts . Each one those of gunny bags could airily hold RDX enough to put holes in everyones guts . If the RDX didn't spill brains the ensuiung stampede would . Eunuch were collecting their bounty from the poor vendors lest they got cursed by them( A eunuch's curse is believed by many to bring frightful bad luck) . I wonder what Anthony would have had to say about this .
I was strangely at ease in the middle of this . I didn't see rogue villagers . I saw people carrying on th their business . i could see smiles all around . I can't explain the calmness . And when i thought of the bomb something deep inside me told me " No Goddamn terrorist gonna mess with us !! " . I even liked the business model of the eunuch's . The atmosphere was filled with some deep electric energy . I even made a few friends with the vendors despite the haggling ! Maybe Anthony would have lived through this , but his camera equipment sure wouldn't have .

Assertion !!

Here are somethings girls take for granted . No-way .
1) I don't look at girls walking by on the street . I like watching cars more .
2) I hate the chorus "Chooo Chweeet !! ".
3) If i talk to a girl that does imply in any meandering way that i have a "thing" for her .

A moment..... A lifetime.....

Saw a girl on the street
Peddler , ragged and dry

Asked , surprisingly
whether her book i wanted to buy

Thanks , But no thanks I scoffed
Laughter was all she had
Infectious it was
Caught on like a fire

Saw this girl on the street
Laughing with this girl on the street .

Turned , left like an arrow
Leaving me with a knotted brow
Pondering when we'd meet again
Never , never again
The awakening I had .

Police : The Gaurdians , no doubt .

In Bangalore in September ,October groups of young men get together in annoyingly large numbers to convert the city into a Ganesha abode with every street anchoring one idol .
The street gang to which i belong , being no exception , preparations were full steam ahead . Including getting the perfunctory ' no objection certificate ' from the local police station .
We , around 15 guys trooped into the local neighborhood police station , waving the constable at the doorstep aside (Our gang leader Mr M has blue blood ! !) .
Politely , M started filling the form . We returned it after i checked for spelling errors (also because of the blue blood !!)
BANG!!! He stamped the seal on our application . ' REJECTED ' it screamed . Looking as if he had just been whipped , M smiled one of his ' i'm gonna F$&K you ' smiles . Calmly he took out a handsome note . Nothing . Two notes . Nothing . Five notes . Nothing .
As a last resort , and because his authority was being challenged he took out the 'Bramhastra' His cell phone ! He was thinking of which uncle of his he should call , ''put it away saa'r '' Our noble cop says .
M is angry alright , '' i'm gonna get you transferred '' he says . All the while the rest 14 of us are mute spectators .
'' Please listen to me first '' he pleads .
" 5000 bucks aint enough for you eh ? " M counters .
" please saa'r listen , its not about the money ! "
" 8000 last call ! or your out "
Noble Cop finds his bearings and says '' There is a bloody large terrorist threat in Bangalore this time , nobody is being given permission for large gatherings on the streets !! '' , '' when i say nobody , I mean NOBODY !!" He bellows .

We beat a silent retreat to find a nice plot , garage or compound to hold the festivities .

The lowdown : Old scooter's with K and N's

K and N are known world over for their high performance air filters , a large number of guys are fitting vehicles of every type with k and n filter . Me being a shallow pocketed Indian went for the K and N look alike air filter and got it coupled to the 100cc 8bhp two stroke 1990 model kinetic honda .
The pick up has jumped and growl is like music . Mileage has not dropped appreciably . Trouble is two stroke engines get heated very quickly with a filter (My kine gets sweating as quicly as 3 kilometers) . This is because the compression ratio has increased two fold . One of the easy options (i have talked to numerous mechanics in Bangalore) would be to increase the viscosity of the fuel . Other options include getting a smaller fuel Jet , Fitting the filter inside a box (both of which spoil the filters effect) . Increase the ratio of 2 stroke engine oil from 20ml per litre to 60ml . That way your engine will keep calm for a longer time . I would like to add that this problem only plagues two stroke engines . Four stroke have no known side effects to filters .

Easy way to a : Governemt Job

Wanna get a government job like a cake walk ? Avoid all reservation hurdles and bribing fat nepotic politicians .
Really simple , go abroad and simply lend your SIM card to one of the many terrorist organizations , it gets even better if your cousin or a buddy himself is a cold blooded terrorist . Get arrested . Get yourself free by charging the foreign government with racism or the likes . Come back to India and voila you would have been transformed into an instant celebrity with the most paparazzi coverage . Wait for a coupla days and the Chief minster will probably end up at your hide out and will offer you a coveted government job . Simply outrageous .

The Quintessial Terrorist

As a sequel to my previous article , accusing Bangalore born blue eyed chocolate boys as not worth being called terrorists here is someone whom i think is worth his salt a terrorist . This is written outta admiration for the shy unknown Oklahoma bomber .
April 19, 1995 :
Timothy Mcveigh the big Gun totting , big apple American , gulf war veteran drove and parked a 3000 kilo truck bomb in the parking lot of the P Murrah building in the Oklahoma city , Oklahoma state . The Murrah building is/was a building housing The bureau of alcohol , tobacco and firearms and the drug enforcement administration . His pent up anger for the American government he wrote and enclosed in a brown paper envelope in the dashboard of his getaway car . Planned and exucuted with brilliance that amazes everyone , He almost turned himself in by driving away from the bombing scene in his yellow car without registration , insurance and carrying a loaded firearm under his jacket . The Police swooped down on him in no less than 56hours after the bombing . With absolutely no-remorse about what he had done , he apparently described it like a successful science project . Talk of conviction .

Death toll : 167 people . He accepted the death sentence without apologizing for his actions . Timothy McVeigh was executed by lethal injection on morning of June 11 , 2001 . He had turned himself into a one man army . The FBI are groping in the dark trying to tie up loose ends about where he got the explosives and training from .

The t-shirt he was wearing says "Sic semper tyrannis " meaning "thus always to tyrants ".

Bangalore's Terrorists

Its a shame . Its a insult to terror in itself . Two Bangalore's residents have been detained in London alleged terrorist links . Another of our home grown so called terrorist managed to run a burning car into a airport . Sounds scary .

Its a shame for two things , firstly he should be fied upon to call himself a terrorist . His brave burning jeep attack on the airport barricade , managed to strike terror only in the watching birds around the airport , it also resulted in his martyrdom . Why he carried out the attack nobody knows . Terrorists carry out attacks for a purpose , not to celebrate firecracker's in London . I certainly expected better from our terrorists . These are not even in the league of 9/11 or the likes . He's also made Bangalore look the training ground slipshod terrorists .

Its also a shame because of all the media frenzy that surrounded his brother terrorists arrests . His mom outrightly denied it , acting like it was a blot from blue telling the overeager scribes he was a walking talking angel . Even his college principal B R Ramesh (courtesy Deccan Herald) says he was a popular , average student who finished his MBBS 6 months late . Its just that Dr Ramesh does not know that these are are not grounds that his ex-students should be not terrorists . His poor classmate Chetan also remembers himself riding on an enfield with this wanna be terrorist to college .

After they were detained in London beantown police were up and about like cockroaches questioning the wanna be terrorists parents . Wake up Bangalore !! terrorists are not marked with blue blood . Psychologists say ordinary people are more likely to become terrorists under the right circumstances . Who knows how many of our home grown boys are outta there making bombs ? So the writing on the wall is clear and our Media must stop sensationalizing these attacks and must just stick to reporting news .

Who Do You Wanna Be ?

Who do u wanna be ? The world's next Tiger Woods ? Mr Box-office big wig ? Or even world's richest man ?
Cut back to June Bangalore 2007 , Its raining cats and dogs . Our noisy three wheeled contraptions are off the road , Its noiseless except for the pitter-patter of the rain . I notice from the dry confines of my veranda a boy , singing walking jumping in the rain . Without a care in the world . I poke my long nose out and investigate '' loosu sa'ar '' pat came the reply . I inquired if the psycho was on orkut , then i could have added him as my friend ! Disappointingly he wasn't .
Long after that scene my brain seemed to be buzzing , with new found inspiration .
Thats who I want to be be the carefree , Insane guy dancing in the rain . Watching the world go by . Doing what I want ! And not giving a f#$% about anything .

George Bush ! who ?

This the story of George bush ; He's on his last lap . He has being chased , yet he rule's unfazed .
I saw him one fine balmy evening . Not on the idiot box but in the front yard . I'm not talking about the First American citizen .
That cheerful evening i saw this stray dog inside my compound , he indiligently looked at me and scared the living daylights outta me . This is not yesterday but time when bangalore's feral dogs where doing rounds hunting hapless children . "Chase it out ! " I was commanded .
I dash behind it , with my sister's vexing battle cries ! It runs out of the gate without much of a war.
Next morning it was back , it took to its heels as soon it saw me , albeit my sister's screaming . This went for a fairly long time . Me chasing and it running for its dear life .
One evening my uncle , My mentor happened to chance upon our game . He called me indoors and revealed why the dog haunted our house " its on its last lap , its wants to RIP(Rest In Peace) here " . Suddenly saw those red mean eyes were looking misty .
It was still afraid of me , I stopped chasing it , started feeding it scraps and named it , just as u guessed it 'George Bush' . See the connection ? Its not that i want to insult the president the world's most powerful country or anything . I am using my IQ .
Whether the dog is gonna die now or whether George Bush is gonna kicked out of office i don't know . But one thing is certain the stray that has come to known as bush has become my pet now .

Bungee's Back

Hey all you adrenaline junkies out there bungee is back in bangalore . Its on from the 15th of june to the 24th of June . So gather your guts head to the cliff . It always manages to get me on a high .
Makes me feel like life is worth living after all .
horn ok please - please don't think i am advertising for the company organising the bungee jumping . I am advocating it for everybody .

Freakout Everybody ; Here's How

Its really simple . Follow these 10 steps and cause people to stare , laugh , rag , kiss you . Be warned that trying these things are at your own risk . U might get admitted to Nimhans if you do a very good job .
1) Get a imaginary friend , its imaginary so It can can be a girl a guy or both . Age , looks , hair color(inner wear brand also) are all your choice . You will have to finalize everything because you will end up describing It(your friend) to lots of people .
2) Get It a spicy , mixture of alphabets sort of name . The more stupid , the more freaked out people will be . You can also drop plates and name It after the sound the falling plates . For examples dillu , ishimyu , chonganna .
3) Take it with you wherever you go .
4) the real freak show begins now . Introduce It to all your friends , ignoring their raised eyebrows continue talking with It .
5) When hanging out with buddies , ask him what he wants and order something for him also .
at the end of it just tell your friends he is feeling sick and does not want to have his drink .
5a)Play numerous crazy , mental pranks blame it on It .
6)Always keep him next to you . Never ever let anybody ride pillion on your Bike/scooter . Tell them that your img friend is riding with you .
7) Don't laugh .
8) Do this for a week you should have people running away from you . In case desired effects are not produced continue doing the same for another week .
9) Incase undesired effects are produced(gettin slapped , arrested ) Dont even mention my name .
10) Have fun . Cheers !!

'LAPLACE' For Three

Our professor who teaches us Laplace transforms met us , skandadu , babu and me infront of the class as the rest shot fleeting glances at us from the other end of the corridor .
Babu and me tried our luck in convincing her that it was not worth taking a class for three lonely souls , but unfazed she remarked "If they bunk , its their loss " . " I will take a class for the three of you " she retorted to our gaping looks .
Inside the three of us perched our asses on a bench( the three sisya's ) she sat on the bench in front and with her booming voice started off .
I caught venkat being given more attention than he liked , she was breathing down his neck . The scene was extremely funny ( rather hard to describe , please let your imagination do the talking) . Skandadu and me exchanged quick smiles . Outside were a coupla first benchers throwing us jealous looks . Me and skanda exchange another round of smiles .
Some the 'nerds' gather thier guts and excused themselves into class . venkat grabbed the opportunity " Ahem ! ma'am why don't u (please) teach from the blackboard itself (at a safe distance )" ? he suggested , she saw the light and went back to the blackboard .
Venkat and me had a hearty one after she left . I am not even hinting anything about her teaching . Just that she is a much better teacher close up than from the blackboard .

My Ideal Bike

My ideal bike as the name suggests is perfect in every way , thats the reason why i have been unable to add pictures . It is purely imaginative ideal concept .
It would not be a supercharged 1000cc hayabusa . My bike would be a tweaked out 100cc mid nineties model shogun . Here is what i mean by tweaked out .
A direct exhaust with the bore ported so the bike would be delivering somewhere around 120 horses at the opening of the throttle . i would couple it with a 5-speed manual gearbox just to keep the rider at the helm . It would be coupled with to the wheels with double chains (yes double chains). Plus I would ensure the bike is mild , light by shearing off all excess weight(there will not be any grab rails or engine guards) . i would cut the tail portion off , a small tail light behind the riders seat would be all , no indicators , battery .
Electrically it would have a dynamo and a headlight , taillight and spark plug . nothing more . This bike will probably have disc brakes on both the front and rear wheels . (ordinary drum brakes wont be able to rein in this beast) . And since the roads in India are far from perfect i will have to keep the shock absorbers . lightest in the category for my bike .
It wont be all that fun if it ran on ordinary gasoline would it ? i will tune the engine to run on nitromethane . Chances are 96 out of 100 times the engine will explode killing the rider(i never said i am gonna ride it) . But its a ideal power bike . Those 4 times when the engine does manage to keep itself together trust me no Hayabusa would ever stand a chance .
The rubber of course will be tubeless , aligned with alloy wheels to stand the heat and timid acceleration this bike will have . Please dont think i have not given attention to the aerodynamics . aerodynamic riding position wont be nessecary . we would run out of runway here in india if it was engineered to perfection(killing the rider if alive) .

P.S- i would love to work on such a bike . Anybody who thinks they can make useful contributions{read as money(cash) } are always welcome

dilemma

Saturday , was a rather important day for me . Our dept the telecom dept had its 'fest' the techno cultural extravaganza on the super saturday . Apart from that it is ethnic day ! we have dress up like real indians . Its a fashion show where the whole college is participating which is loads of fun(all the girls are gonna show up draped in 6 yards of fine cloth) ! Here i have to disclose that i think women look voluptuous in those 6 yards .Not to be forgotten Monday is my lab test which has a lot of wieghtage in the exam .
There are coffee plantations , birds , beauty in abundance in Chickmagalur which is a 5 hour drive from Bangalore . Myself being a nature lover , find the place irresistible . There was a National Rally Championship there on the 5th and 6th . My brother whose friends (www.slipstream.in)are participating is going there as it is in actuality a celebration of car and motoring enthusiasts . my bro has promised to take me there all at his expense . and since i got my license and have learn t to drive looks like 'the' opportunity.
One thrilling saturday . two places to be in . two great events . only one me . i feel like i am being split in two . what did i do ?

orkut the obsession

i deleted my orkut account unceremoniously , many wondered what had gone to my head . it was done after consideration and conclusion by me that it was blinding me about the various limbs of the internet . the internet is informative to say the least , i was orkuttin at least half an hour a day . now this time goes in browsing the web and gosh i have learn t lots !

i have lost a seemingly useless obsession , thats why it deserved nothing but deletion . i am saying the gamble worked for me . trust me rediscovering a long forgotten friend is much better if you don't stay in touch through orkut . don't waste your creative juices , get a life ! stop orkutting !

The Highway Decision

We were on our way back from tirupathi when the national highway lead to a barren circle .
It was a great day , the sun playing peek-a-boo with us pilgrims in the car . Since the road ahead did not look promising we decided that I should get off and get the guidance for a proper road to bangalore .
The junction was eerie without a soul in sight . There was a arrack shanty near by (50 feet away or so) since these are dangerous places i proceeded with caution . Just as i had travelled a few steps away from our car i saw a big truck propelling with its heavy load towards the circle .
From the side opposite to which our car had been parked two boys {around myage , Singing happily , laughing , i did see his face} were speeding on there sparkling purple bike towards the circle .
The unthinkable happened , in a instant the rider's head was detached . The pillion was still stuck under the truck with agony that words cannot justify and then i took the decision to flee the scene albeit my enquring had not even started . i got into the car and asked my dad to drive away which he promptly did .
As i sat in the car safely with my seat belt fastened i could not help but imagine the plight of crippled boy .
Then i saw it a rush of white , An ambulance was rushing in the opposite direction you know where it was going .
As we bribed ourselves to forget about it at a hotel with dinner , there is a feeling , a strong one at that, the one i used to get as a kid when i hurt another living thing . That i in a way helped him reach his deathbed . Did he die ??
I dont know ! I hope he is hale and hearty . I pray for him .

My first blog

Well as the title suggests this is my frist blog . I have started typing this with beliefs that i will have a good blog at the end of it . Despite the high hopes and the frowns of my mom i am spending time (read precious) on writing things that nobody will read apart from myself . I dont know what i will achive by doing this , I think i am doing this because it was one of the 'happenin' things all my peers are doing . Peer pressure or not only way to master something by doing it over and over with the proper guidance . So you can expect many more senseless, mindnumbing boring blogs from me in the days to come . So whatever i have said so far makes me sound like a pessimist but in actuality am the opposite otherwise why i would i do something so stupid ???