Funny ad - criticism

Caught the New CBZ extreme ad on tv recently ?? With a special warning that the stunts shouldn't be reapeated , it made me feel that the guys at the ad-agency think we are deranged of the mind . Cuckoo , thats what they think we are !! The graphics are in infancy and stunts childish . 

And oh if your planning to base jump and ride off on a bike .

WEAR THE HELMET BEFORE JUMPING . 

I thot base-jumping needs you to keep your parachute half open when jumping ? 

STOP RIDING IF THERE IS AN EARTHQAUKE or a  TORNADO or BOTH . 

COME TO A COMPLETE STOP ON BOTH WHEELS . 

DON'T FORGET TO TAKE THE KEYS MORON . 

IF THERE ARE SEXY GIRLS AROUND THE BIKE TAKE THEM ALONG FOR THE RIDE :)

The Tagline , '' LIFE AWAITS THOSE WHO LIVE OFF THE EDGE " is boring and meaningless . 

Bore Hell !

Here I am , All bleary eyed , unbrushed teeth , staring at a monitor at 7AM on a Sunday morning after my third set of screwing tests . I'm in a vexed mood . Very . There are loud jarring noises  which woke me up . Nobody gets angry for a little noise on a Sunday morning . Besides its 7 AM anyone has the right to start working their f%*(ing heavy equipment .

Yes it is , as it has become inevitable these days to start a construction without it , a bore well is being dug . Another bloody bore well . I'm at best , an optimist . Now definitely not . 

Every plot as a bore well these days . And the plots have been fractured , divided and disintegrated as they have been passed on from generation to generation . On my street , I think every 10 meters you walk in any direction will take you past another one of these holes in the ground . Bad . 

Not so long ago there was a " hue and cry " raised about about Yediyur lake . The government in all its Brilliance , Yes in a rare show of environmental friendliness , rejuvenated the Lake . Not just this one , most of the really polluted ones in and around Bangalore . Soon after the so called clean-up process every body waited for it to fill up again . It rained . They waited . It rained some more . The government waited . It poured . We all  waited . Finally during the monsoon 1-1/2 years after the beautification process , did Yediyur get filled with water again . I believe the water table and the Yediyur lake are reticulated with more than just the water . 

I make the prophecy that Yediyur will be dry someday . Doesn't sound impossible . All the water sucked out of it by all the holes in mother earth's bosom . 

All is not so bad you say , we have catchment areas . Where ? Lal Bagh and KR park . Is it enough to keep all the surrounding bore wells watered ? The parks are indeed swamped all around by this humongous city with its holes . 

I heard BWSSB going for Cauvery satge IV . We have already squandered the Cauvery . 

Aah a hot cup of coffee . And the din . Bore wells here sometimes go dry in the summer , think its a harbinger of harm . In our 8Th standard text book I remember studying about a city in Mexico . Parts of the city just imploded into the ground , because of ground water was depleted to such an extent , that the earth couldn't support the weight of the city ! God forbid Bangalore from having a similar fate .

All the narrow minded people reading this have already formed strong opinions in thy minds . If i put one more Bore well whats wrong ? Whats your problem ? Don't you have one ? 

I think the Government should step in when the time is calling with some regulation , as cliched as it might sound . For all the whole community , including my bore well too . We have to stop this mindless drilling , or mother will stop it for us . 

' Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need , not every man's greed ' - Mahatma Gandhi . 

ZEN from a 20 year old

Its a dogs world . People bitching , back stabbing and doing other lowly things to get ahead in this rat race academics . But what i'm saying is don't bother , because on a personal level it really doesn't matter . Just enjoy whatever your doing academic , non academic , legal or illegal , thats the key to happiness . Somebody is searchin for internships so you lose sleep over it , run around plead with them to part with thier secrets and you also end up trying for it , alas it all goes in vain . So why all the trouble ? Relax , if there is something in you worth a job , people will give you a job . Instead of taking time off from doing what you loved the most , because of someone else believed in internships , you did things that you never really enjoyed or wanted to do . Why ? 

Your soul is lost , its wandering and is searching for a mooring in someone elses ideas and beliefs . Do your thing . Ask yourself what you want to do , Go full steam ahead . Heresay never got anybody anywhere . As for the internship forget it , be happy your friend got it . In the long run one internship never made a huge career . Charecter is what really makes or breaks people . And that an internship i bet won't give . 

I really don't know how many of you would take zen from a 20 year old , but this is what happened and I felt lik saying it so the blog .

?

Economic meltdown . Floods . Decline . Riots . Job cuts . Global warming . Ozone layer holes . Murders . Slowdown . Lay-offs . Lock outs . Shut downs . Strikes . No hiring . Pollution . G8 . Tear gas . Conversions . Rising sea levels . Melting glaciers . War . Bird flu.  Drugs . Underage . Buy outs . Liquidity . CRR hike . Carcinogens . AIDS . Underworld . Credit crunch . Epidemic . Climate refugees . Slavery . Temperature rise . Nuclear Winter . Bonded labour . Honour killings . Rape . Student gunmen . Suicide Bombers .Climate change . Terrorists . Women suicide terrorists . Separtists . Death . Famine .  Suicides . Failed Bailout . Doomsday . Acid attacks . Depression . Insolvents . Systematic investment disasters . Market plunges . Crude prices . Take overs . Conflicts . Bandhs . Unemployment . Recession . Hijacks . Child soldiers . Strife . 

Where we headed ?

My photos...

Mumbai fun all thanks to.....

   We , my family went to Mumbai with our accompli-aces from cox town . Mukundappa , Jaya aunty Krishna and Amala . Right from the word go there was fun filled excitement from all quarters for everythin i wanted to do . Interlaced with my dad's Preachings of yogic principles and interpretations of the Bhagavath geetha it was manna for the soul , body and mind all the way .

    Mr and Mrs Soumen and little Aditi were our guides in the big bad unconquerable marathi heartland , most gracious hosts that they were . 

  Eating one of our greatest endevours as we tried to savour everything on the menu . Everybody gained a couple a kilos , no harm done . Trekking to the Dam(damn i forgot the name) in lonavala was undoubtedly fun , a little less than catching and passing around frogs in the derelict swimming pool . The " kids " also behaved , making our stay a rapture .

   The adventure with the gypsies had us excited like kids at christmas . The ladies were elated carrying kids' of the goats and posing for photos . The chai at the wayside tea shop was always fun with the lazy men swaggering in late most of the times . Amala's rapport for animals be it sheep , kid , dog , kitten , frog , puppy had me at a loss , so was Jaya aunties " powers of positive thinking " . This doesn't sound to bad " rock on jaya aunty !!  " does it ??

      

   We rented a taxi sometimes and butted ourselves into it , all 8 of us and in most cases with a moderlately large amount luggage . At the other times we had Mr Soumens Honda city thank God .

  The revelations of M uncles' adventures in his youth made me wonder a long time after he was done talking . I bow my head in awe and respect . 

  Krishna was the one who almost took offence for being called a kid . The other two were kinda lost most of the time . It was great having someone to really talk to . 

  A great excursion , all thanks to the pleasurable company we had . 

     when is the next one ? 

 

here is : kannada slangs SP2

kalchko - depart , leave . 

Gandhi - decent child . truthful and uncorrupted . Also shots which catch the edge of the table in TT. 

Food hakko - Eat something . ondh nimsha eru food hakkond barthini . 

Attendance haku - <>to relive oneself in the loo . 

dovgara - Liar , ingrate . Sycophant . 

Gatti chatney - extremely stingy . Parsimonious . 

hawa bedu - use of strong language to bring under ones control . 

awaz haaku - yell , shout , bent anger , swear . Awaz haaki karkonkd baa . 

train / bus / plane hatsodu - to make a person believe something . 

Othla odi - loiter , waste time . 

othlappan - A specialist in the aforementioned activity . 

Kachu - Literally Bite . In slang means to talk to much for too long without purport . 

pitil kuyodu - To lie , slander , gossip to a disinterested audience . 

Open maadu - to break open a head with a blunt instrument like a Loong . 

Loong - A blunt metal rod used with damaging effects . 

Suit case - Well anatomically speaking a woman posterior .  In crude terms that we all succumb to a " ladys' Ass ". 

Konga / kongati / kongru - Offensive slang . Racist remark . Tamilians living in Karnataka .

urulu hodi - By heart . Commit to memory . Maga a chap naanu urlu haakidine . 

PS - I'm done with these long testing slang blog . If u know some more keep them to yourself . Tell me and open maadthini !

Kannada Slang.... The Latest Guide

"yersodu" - flatter , pump the ego . 

"AJM " - Akkan / Aiyyo just miss . When something happens , well  almost / 

"Thiika"  - Noway . Impossible . When said as a reply means whatever the first person said was ridiculous !

" kivi hinde huvva / lalbagh / cubbon park " - I'm no duffer you moron .

"Gandu " - Works most eloquently for ' buffoon ' . 

" LKB / Loude ke baal / Shata / sha  " - pubic hair . 

" aaikond thinnu " - waste time , loiter .

" Figurrrr " - nowadays unisex word for beautiful , bold and appealing . 

" Gasss " - distroyed , disfigured , dismembered , broken . Macha avana kidney gasss ayithu . 

'' Levellu " - Personal contribution of BMS telecom 2006-2010 batch . Attitude . literal translation of high level .

" muchu / thika muchu " - oh shut up ! 

'' Sink / escaape aagu '' - escape . make a run for it . E blog bardu naanu sink aagthini . 

'' Set up '' - Extra martial affair . 

'' Jhoot " - leave in a hurry . 

'' Karadi " - offensive slang Hairy babe . 

''macha , maga !! '' - kannada for dude/ homie . 

''loong / mach '' - weapons of mass destruction .

'' Caake cut maadu " - step on cow/ animal / human poop . 

" Jinkemari '' - a pretty girl . 

'' aunty figurrr " - you pretty mush guessed it . 

'' tight '' - drunk 

'' blast aada / aadlu '' - Drunk or high without motor and / or verbal control . 

'' Blast maadu " - rip thru the streets . 

'' agarbatthi / bijili / kaddi '' - cigarette . 

" dagar '' - flirt . Don't push it too far . 

'' cookies " - the '' biscuit '' of yesteryear . Any trickery that was successfully pulled off . " Thinda cookie ?? " 

'' Theerta / bullets / fuel '' - booze . 

PS - i have tried to my best to include the most slang words from my kannada jargon . If u know more post as a comment and i'll include it in my next blog . 

why doordarshans not on the olympic bus !

Have u noticed already ? 

Its ridiculuous that the I AND B ministry is doing nothing to increase its TRP'S . Even when they are given exclusive broadcast rights to the Olympics they still suck at it .

After every ad break Doordarshan( Far vision !) have come come up some interesting facts . Did u know that they started walkathon in the 1932 Munich olympics ? How cool is that ? No prizes for guessing where that info came from . 

Oh they also have a crew in Beijing . All 50 year old men who are about to retire show us around China . My god how intriguing . Not that i have anything against Old men , but commercially completely inviable . 

Also the guys compeering from New Delhi are so fashion conscious , Blue half sleeved shirt with a tie . Sexy . 

Latest Photos

Vikram Mathias Winner INRC bangalore round



Sujay Runner up in the K-1000 , 2008

High Fashion ??

The House

            Go Green or Brown

         Purpose served 

                  V R

 Cavern of Human nature

A lesson well learnt , Belthangdi

The Start

We from the MC (mountaineering club) are usually sensible people , 22nd of july was the rare exception . We underestimated mother nature . That as numerous hoarse adventure junkies have told you this is not a risk , its almost suicide (for us it turned out to be only a risk - Thank GOD ! !) .

The Jinxed Trek

 We started a trek at 3PM , a time too old for treks . We climbed , all garrulous 22 of us , only to find one man (a big one !) tiring quickly , Our leader AJAX , trekked downhill secured a warm dry(point to be noted) place in our guides' house and returned . As fate should have it , Our guide got cold feet I guess and did not return with AJAX . 

There we were on a thickly forested side of the hill in the rainy western ghats at 4 in the afternoon all confidant to trek a benumbing 10km all by our very selves . Sounds ludicrious right ? it didn't on that hillside that day . oh I forgot to tell you , there were little pests (blood sucking ugly slimy horrendous blind leeches !!! Besides someone forgot to feed them in the last 6 months!!!!) also , we didn't care much about them as they made little or no dent on our adrenaline pumped brains . Our next major hurdle (minor hurdles included fallen trees and the like) was four callow trekkers getting lost . Simple we used our cellphones to reach them and lead them . Luck . A truckload of luck . It took Mr G (planner and cook) great effort and a lot of yelling from the rest of us to get them back . Now talk about knocking on heavens door . The luck was we had cellphone signal in the middle of a national park , and one of the lost boys had that service providers connection !!

After a setback of around 2 hours in fast fading light we decided plough ahead , the rest of us had made a pit stop near a beautiful peak , I think near the halfway mark . I must tell the scenery was breathtaking , literally . It made everything worth it . 

Damn my memory ! I forgot to tell you again we were all carrying our sacks . I will bet none of the sacks weighed less than 6kgs or more than 35 . And then came the rain , Sheets of rain ! Actually it kept drizzling through out and then suddenly someone decided to flush . 

So here we are , battling leeches , rain , imminent darkness and difficult terrain . Mr G who was leading from the front took us through two wrongs pathways . Then he decided he had enough and we couln't go on any further . So after a confabulation in the middle of the jungle we decided to turn back (others options included staying there for the night or continue , both ridiculous) . 

The Return

7PM is when we decided to turn back  , 11PM is the time we actually managed to get out . Standing instructions included no stopping and picking off leeches , Saving torchlight battery power , AND no talk about naxals or wildlife ! 

We turned out all right , except we were wet till the bone , riddled with leech bite holes and very very tired . Mr G and AJAX had some of the finest maggi ready by 1AM .  

The End

Mouth Ulcers.... I've tried it all !!!

Once you have an annoying mouth ulcer you can try to rid yourself of it by

1) Taking a anti-biotic tablet (any anti-bio tab) pulverizing it and mixing it with honey and applying on the affected area .

2) Try applying glycerine to the affected part .

3) There is a gel by name "Dologel" available at all leading chemists over the counter , use that .

If all of the above fails then , its hard luck . You will have to grin and bear it for 1 week or so till it disappears as smoothly as it appeared . 

Love

Ahhh...She wore a lovely red saree.... A deep sanguine red , not the alarming stinging red but a peaceful pleasing red . She wore a Bindi , A bright red spot on her forehead making her a chic persona , Her face pale being a deep contrast to her bindi . She looked frail . The frail delicate looking lady was nonetheless very beautiful .

He , a perfect gentleman . With the air of the stiff ideal man of the British era . Immaculate in a half white shirt and black pleated trousers . The cuff links were a eye-catching gold . His shoes more shined than many peoples hair is combed . The manner was as proud as a lion simmered . The weather , cloudy and not chilly . A perfect June morning in bangalore the erstwhile pensioner's paradise ' . The time early 6'o clock .

They were off holding hands , looking more together than the latest celebrity couple . There was the unmistakable look of being deeply in love . Content filled eyes wouldn't be a cliché .

What's intriguing about this ?

The septuagenarian gentleman couldn't take more than couple of steps without stopping , out of the breath and the pretty , old lady in her sixties I suppose was bent with age . They held hands and ambled down my street one early thursday morning left me contemplating .

Reviews of the latest Jeffery Archer book ' A Prisoner of birth '

Paltry reader as I am I quite frankly didn't the book undroppable . The characteristic Jeffery archer ending twist of the story is somewhere before the end , i read past it only to realize after i had finished the book . Its definitely not as irresistible as ' Not a penny less not a penny more ' which is clearly my fav Jeffery archer book .
For someone who went to landmark to meet the man himself and to have read from an autographed book , clearly a disappointment .

Nurses : Mortal angels ??

Nurses , their job description includes witnessing , some of life's most joyous as well as tear-jerking scenes . They go about it with a smile on their faces . My writing about nurses is certainly not the first and obviously not the best of articles about them . Nonetheless , I feel remarkably touched by their service , now that I have seen them , whilst staying with my aunt who was recuperating from a surgery , that I have to tell their story .
Try looking into their eyes , try seeing the human being , the sister , mother , wife . All you will see is Grey smoke . Their unchanging public facade hides the troubles , issues worries bothering them . When they are on duty they have forgotten the self , giving rise to these industrial white clothed smiling busy bees . Blood and pain not denting cheery facade in the slightest . Had these nurses given anything less hospitals would be less joyous and more tears . Nursing is one of the professions where women could be most subjected to abuse . But one look at a nurse walking elegantly , calmly down the corridor , you know it , you know she has taken that in her stride , you know deep down inside that your in safe hands( This is very essential as your trusted doctor might not be at your bedside at 2am , a smiling nurse will be ! ) .
Also much to my chagrin , each one of the nurses made it a point to ask my aunt how she felt rather frequently . It was genuine , heartfelt wishing my aunt would recover quickly from her surgery . And she did .
Truly benumbing to see something so serene , so pure , so saintly these days , you will agree .

MTV hero Honda Dowdies

Heard the latest talk on the campuses ? Is it about characters like ashu , vikranth ? wtf ? Welcome to the insane world of MTV hero honda Dowdies . Last week's amusing episode had all the male participants wax their legs and few other unmentionable parts of their body , dress up as ladyboys and do an impromptu jig for the camera's ! Goodness , Gracious , Great balls of fire , was i enchanted or what ?
The adventure tasks are physical torture ! And shit there's politics about who gets voted out , Nosy cameramen do a amazing job getting every whisper , gesture , they leave no suspense .
Hold on there's more , " THE GAME GOES INTERNATIONAL ! "
what the hell are these blokes at MTV thinking ? why on earth do have to go abroad to do freak show ?
They entrap dumb innocent kids(u see them on the show.. you'll agree !!) take them to Thailand and make them do this ! And every now then a bald guy comes and talks of the roadies spirit . Guess what ? I can smell the roadies spirit.... It stinks !
They are overdoing it so much I abhor watching MTV now , for they have a whole slew of shows bridled with Dowdies (voted out , making of roadies etc) . And if thats not enough they host a show on the radio also !
Stay away !

Ittle's and Dosha's

Yawn !! back from the land of the Sun Temple , also the land of ittle's and dosha's (Idly's and dosa's) . Pristine beaches , it'll beat goa hollow if not for the hippies who give Goa its hype . Chilka the world's largest salt water lake doesn't fail to impress either . The dolphins are rather sleepy . The oriyans make amazing cooks . Food scores .
Hygiene is nothing write home about . As dirty as many north Indian cities are . Puri is a small tourist loving town . Nothing to do other go to temples and pray or play on the beaches . Best time to visit is clearly the winter . The Konark sun temple is in ruins . Nobody calls it so , it was dissapointing to see such a great monument in deplorable condition . The temple has a rather large number erotic figures sculpted into the walls . Makes me wonder about our ancestors !

What geeks students are becoming .

Engineering in itself , most would nonchalantly agree is mundane . Don't know why or from when , but VTU has by far managed to squash anything evenly remotely sounding like campus politics . It is not burial of politics inside campuses that is pricking my conscience but rather the awareness about social causes that went espoused with it .
All wanna be engineers [including me , I'm no hypocrite ! ] so disconnected from incidents happening in today's India . Nobody has any opionions about Taslema nasreen or corpulent bribed cops . Yes yes all over ambitious debaters included [Just because your in a debate arguing for/against issues , without actually believing in it , makes me sick] . I am surely not asking for a dharna in front of Vidhana soudha . But i am seeking a way out where students could form non-nebulous voices about today's concern . I am firmly of the opinion that doing away with campus politics dimmed our awareness on the issues plaguing our everyday life . I don't think engineering students should start studying political or social science as an extra subject , but for the inspired ones there should be some way . Ask any dowdy politician and he will drive home the point " students are the future of our country ! " . Engineering grad's never swore under any oath that they are going to stay true to their education , voila! you have engineers doing everything from research to politics to economics . So I think it would pay to have a head start . After all information is money you know , we never know where we might end up .

After driver's its Dhobi's now

One of the most interesting observations has been that of the peaceful co-existence of dhobi's .There's one for every street here and apparently the dhobi's have no zealous plans expansion like the rest of coraporate india . So no turf wars , no foul language and yes of-course another of those " unsung heroes " .
The innocuous everyday smiling dhobi . Hard to notice , almost indispensable for most of us . The source of interminable local red hot gossip . The owner and operator of an informal no-reservations maid-servant placement agency , with free background[ criminal records , address , promptness at work , so on and so forth] details . Doubles into an unofficial gate keeper whose promptness at it will cheer you up even after driving in bangalore for 3 hours ! They'll wash your car for a dime , humility is most probably their middle name .
Here I would like to become male chauvinist and add that fetid male dhobi's and their drunk fracases are innately entartaining for new world people like us [P.S-I don't have contradicting views , these squabbles are usually very easily resolved and ends with more liquor!!] .
In this era of globalization i am very happy that the ambani brothers didn't open a ginomorous laundry chain all over the sub-continent . Everytime a see a dhobi with a handful of clothes it makes me happy that they are keeping up , so don't be so parsimonious . Give them what they deserve for keeping you prim .

Unsung Heroes

well like watchin Roger Federer playin tennis ?
There are great many number of mast roe's like him closer to home . On the bus ride (Over night , partly on NH 17 , Western ghats , winding , twisting like the by lanes of hell , single lane potholed road !!) back to bangalore from Karwar , our bus driver held four of us , small brained engineering geeks spell bound to his driving . He was sometimes as close a feet from the vehicle in front of us at flying at 70kmph , it would be a blatant lie if I say i wasn't scared .
Standing in the cockpit( it seperated the drivers cabin from the passenger area) it seemed to us like he had more than four limbs . He did it with enough panache to rob the sheen from James bond . The artisan was a funny guy as he kept joking with his cleaner . At times i felt he was keeping the cleaner awake ! Girls never understood the beauty until they saw this performance . Especially my girlfriend . The orchestra of over taking and avoiding potholes must be seen to apprehended .
Every performance has a high point , so this had one too . Just as we were about to return to our seats somnambulistically he surrealistically pulled out two betel-nut leaves from his pocket , tore of the tips , fondling with the steering wheel , he slathered on some "sunna " , added a sprinkling of some unknown substance (well it was bloody dark in there!!) , rolled it into a perfect cone and ate it with the air of a German general who'd just won a war .
Maestro truly , top of the line , The bus wasn't a bus, an extension of his body . Apprize them next time you see them . Unsung Heroes .

Unison

Its been a long time since I wrote about happy stuff and my previous posts make me sound like a cantankerous resentful 80 year old brother of the country (I'm the person who feels personally insulted at our sky rocketing crime rates ; so its a self proclaimed title) .
Dear reader if your a woman , a girl or simply a person who sees the romantic side of things (Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance!!) its hard for you apprehend the following paragraphs .
Keeping the happy theme in mind , I write about the unison of man and machine and over a distance 80km from bangalore to Maddur . It was a compromise , a threesome , but it doesn't matter .
Me and my best chaddi buddy took out his spanking new muscled Hero Honda CBZ and pointed her cross hairs at Maddur . (from now on she refers to the bike ) . Wind in our faces and a open 4 lane national highway undressing in front of us , things couldn't get any better .
She teased us with the gear changes , provoked us with the braking and her heart the engine laughed a gentle naive laugh which was music all the way . We carved the road out with a surgeons precision and pleasure I might add .( No insult to the surgeons!!) Lorries and lesser vehicles of mortals we left gaping at her nice shapely backside . We could feel her heart thumping , craving for more . 5th gear and we were a happy three , that intense feeling in our guts of unison Man and machine , overpowering our senses .

There was a time when all three of us agreed that human females were most uncessecary . Having a girl whisper ' go slow i'm scared ! ' at the middle of such a wonderful ride certainly would have felt like having the doorbell ring when having sex . I swear .

democracy Vs communism

Another insult . A bunch of 70 baboons put 1 billion Indians to shame . Juhu beach , new year's eve .
70 roadside drunk thugs , (i refuse accept them as revelers ) molest two women , who come out of JW Mariott hotel in Mumbai , just after 2 AM . The women were rescued by the police albeit after the crime had been perpetrated . The women were taken to the police station , no complaints were registered .
what the hell ?? The police reluctantly pick up 7 people for questioning , Thanks to the constant media glare .
This is where , we come to the shortcomings of a democracy . Had India been a communist , dictator ed country , those hooligans would be facing a firing squad now . I doubt whether even one of them will ever feel a hint of shame for their behavior with the current tenor of things .